The Colossians verse (one post back) is way convicting. I want to live what it says, but I mess up all the time. I have memorized it for a Bible study I attend and I am frustrated with how I am not patient, I do not put on a heart of compassion, kindness, OR gentleness during most of the moments of my day. Scripture truly is a mirror through which a Christian can get a glimpse of how they are measuring up. (Falling short.) Thank God for Jesus. Thank God for His Spirit who will continue to teach me and grow me until we meet face to face. In the mean time, I am constantly reminding myself to put on the peace of Christ in the midst of life's turmoil. Peace beyond comprehension. What a comfort that is.
I continue to adjust to both Fibonacci and Kate being gone. I feel a bit drained; like my nest is empty. : ) My emotions have caught me off guard. I was expecting to be sad, but I am definitely grieving. I recognize it from when my sister died, and then my dad. It is not as severe, and I expect it will pass much sooner, but it is very real.
I remember when my sister died (she was 39 and went very suddenly) was the first time I really grieved. I was amazed how the word grief took on new dimensions. Before it had the depth of a Charlie Brown expression of exasperation, But with her death I understood what it really was. I found it affected me mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It crept up on me at unexpected times, insisted on my attention, even when I had not been thinking of my sister at all. A flood of tears, completely unattached from my thoughts. I actually sat one evening reading my Bible while crying and crying. It was like they were coming from someone else. I was able to concentrate on what I was reading and continued to do so until I finally got disgusted and did pay attention, at which point I thought, could this be about by sister? I went and got my Good Grief book and sure enough the next phase was emotions. I had read the whole thing through right after she died, but when you have not experienced the stages, they don't mean much and I had forgotten what they were. My grief followed some of the stages in order, but I did not go through all of them. I expect part of the reason I am having a tough time now is the let down after such an intense spring (which lasted until August, I still don't know how summer slipped by me.)
I am grateful to God for grief. It is like a release valve He has built in to relieve the pressures of loss. In this fallen world, loss is a reality we must face and He graciously has made provision.
My sweet sister is a believer and I am looking forward to being with her again one day in heaven.
My children (what does a mother call her children when they are grown?) are in Christ's capable hands; He is guiding their steps and I am content with them living their lives.
I continue to adjust to both Fibonacci and Kate being gone. I feel a bit drained; like my nest is empty. : ) My emotions have caught me off guard. I was expecting to be sad, but I am definitely grieving. I recognize it from when my sister died, and then my dad. It is not as severe, and I expect it will pass much sooner, but it is very real.
I remember when my sister died (she was 39 and went very suddenly) was the first time I really grieved. I was amazed how the word grief took on new dimensions. Before it had the depth of a Charlie Brown expression of exasperation, But with her death I understood what it really was. I found it affected me mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It crept up on me at unexpected times, insisted on my attention, even when I had not been thinking of my sister at all. A flood of tears, completely unattached from my thoughts. I actually sat one evening reading my Bible while crying and crying. It was like they were coming from someone else. I was able to concentrate on what I was reading and continued to do so until I finally got disgusted and did pay attention, at which point I thought, could this be about by sister? I went and got my Good Grief book and sure enough the next phase was emotions. I had read the whole thing through right after she died, but when you have not experienced the stages, they don't mean much and I had forgotten what they were. My grief followed some of the stages in order, but I did not go through all of them. I expect part of the reason I am having a tough time now is the let down after such an intense spring (which lasted until August, I still don't know how summer slipped by me.)
I am grateful to God for grief. It is like a release valve He has built in to relieve the pressures of loss. In this fallen world, loss is a reality we must face and He graciously has made provision.
My sweet sister is a believer and I am looking forward to being with her again one day in heaven.
My children (what does a mother call her children when they are grown?) are in Christ's capable hands; He is guiding their steps and I am content with them living their lives.
